My child is having difficulty sleeping and is having more fears and nightmares during this period. How can I help get sleep back on track?

Great question! Since anxiety and sleep are closely intertwined, it is not at all surprising that, in a period where our routines are “off” and there is a heightened sense of fear of the community, sleep is affected – both for kiddos and adults.

To help with your child’s sleep, our first recommendation would be to maintain good sleep hygiene, which are bedtime practices necessary to have good quality sleep at night. These include maintaining a consistent sleep-wake cycle (going to bed and waking at the same time, even on weekends), limiting naps to 30 minutes for children who have aged-out of napping and keeping naptimes consistent for younger children, and otherwise reserving the bed for sleeping, keeping the bedroom relaxing and pleasant (cool, dark, quiet), and avoiding caffeine, liquids, exercise, and screens close to bedtime.

Nighttime fears in younger kids often arise during development, particularly as they become more aware of safety. Common fears include monsters, ghosts, robbers, the dark and separation. When your child is ready to share about the fears, listen with an open ear to their fears and ask open-ended questions to understand them better. Even if the fears sound funny to you, remember that they are very real to your child! While it is perfectly fine to reassure your child of their safety and can reinforce a sense of stability (particularly in such an unstable time), be cautious if you notice your child beginning to rely too heavily on your reassurance. We want to make sure they are able to work with you to challenge the accuracy of their beliefs (we call this “detective thinking!”). From this, they can develop coping statements to provide themselves reassurance at night – perhaps make these into cards that they can have close by at night. It may also be helpful to create a bravery ladder together, by collaborating to create a list of situations that cause anxiety, rank ordering them from easiest to hardest, and offering rewards for completion of each step.

Another idea is to make bedtime a little more appealing by creating a coping basket with self-soothing items (e.g., soft socks, a special sensory item reserved only for nighttime) and activities (e.g., books/word search with reading light, coping statement cards, relaxation/mindfulness audio or soothing songs on an iPod). This can be stored nearby or under the bed – and remember, these items are just reserved for bedtime!

What are the tips for effective instruction?

In order to make an instruction effective, it should be: 1) phrased as a direct statement and not as a question, 2) specific in terms of the behavior you want to see from them, 3) given one direction at a time, and 4) followed by 10 seconds of silence. As much as possible, we would recommend connecting with the child for a few moments before providing the instruction, perhaps by getting down on their level or joining briefly in what they are doing. By connecting, you are gathering more of their attention before giving the instruction, and it will increase the likelihood that they will engage with your instruction.